Maybe play them simultaneously!
A well placed, well thought out, used only when necessary and appropriate gif image.
I was looking at Google Trends and began writing an inane story based on the most popular search terms (with the goal of increasing traffic AND create a meaningful story), but quickly realized the story would be full of horrible celebrity (?) names and boringly incomprehensible. Now I’m just trying to write enough, so the THIS IS A TEST font will cover the right amount of text.
Today is a really hot day. I went to Target after work with Colleen and got some cheap boy sized flannel shirts. On display was a beautiful brassy number, shining mellowly at me. All fans were sold out. I’m fanning myself with a piece of a cardboard box now. I’ve been fanning myself with paper, postcard, etc for most of the summer. Before that I had a cat hair covered fan left over from the guy who moved out when I first moved in. I ran it under the sink until all the cat hair melted off. It kept me cool in the beginning of summer, but one day sputtered caustic profanity, screaming to be turned off. Now I sweat profusely. Once, I came home and my sheets smelled horribly sour. I blamed the cat for pissing on my sheets but now I think it was me. How embarrassing.
I’m fanning myself with a postcard from the Navatar Group, a cloud computing consulting firm I learned about when I went to a Salesforce conference in the Sheraton Hotel. It was a strange event with ruffled-dressed trashcans, enthusiasm for software touting itself as anti-software, and a xylophone player who chimed the start of the conference. I remember a good amount of swag, like mints with the anti-smoking cross around the word “Software” and a nerf foam stretchy rubber propelled rocket that later ended up stuck on one of the ceiling columns of my office. I also remember there was free booze. I love free booze.
I love free food too. I think when I become wealthy, I’ll still love free food. There something wonderfully gluttonous about the concept of being free. You eat and drink because it exist, because it is offered, not because you are hungry. At least I do. I think the giver wants to give. It’s comforting knowing someone wants something you offer. Thus I will most likely take, when you offer.
Okay, this is now long enough.
Update: Haha. Just realized the image is on top of the text, making the links UNCLICKABLE!
I recently had an exciting and uncomfortable idea of writing critical essays about individual friends and acquaintances, analyzed through my personal interactions and observations of their words and actions. The discomfort comes from the possibility that the criticism could be perceived as malicious or unfair. However, I’d like to posit the idea that what I write would be based on personal observations and analysis, with the attempts to mimic a biographer’s objectivity and evidence-based arguments. The intent isn’t directive; however, open information and opinions will play their role in altering behaviors. If I am “wrong” and misperceived a person’s character, feel free to retort, correct, enlighten, and/or attack me. All bits of information will alter the image.
Whatever I think of you and you of me, based on whatever knowledge you and I possess of the other has truth to it. I invite you to analyze me critically (because of the narcissism). As Eminem sings, “I am, whatever you say I am/If I wasn’t, then why would I say I am“.
Anyways, this is just an idea. I don’t know if I’m comfortable with it. It might just be some justification for public, passive aggressive shit-talking.